The 24 Hours of LeMons

Hemmingway supposedly said there are only three sports, bull fighting, motor racing, and mountaineering. Everything else is a game. Well, not any more, and you can thank Lemons for that.

How so? Well, you're not likely to die, or even get hurt. More than likely the car, either all or just part of it, will die a death that ranges from an oily wimper to a spectacular detonation. And your pride? Shreaded, possibly. Best just leave that at home.

So what is it? Off-beat, inspired, colorful, at times rude, but most of all, genuine endurance road racing.

Cheap cars? You bet.

Cheap racing? Yep, although keep in mind that cheap is a relative term.

A bunch of hoons playing bumper car? Nope. Not since the 2008 Altamont race anyway.

Let's just let fifteen randomly selected photos from the HOFAW book answer any other questions about what this is and why I do it. Or better yet, check out Murilee Martin's (Phil Greden's) Über Gallery photos. Or better yet, come watch a race, and espcially the paddock drama. Or better yet, buy and seat and race.

Team Babel hulled an MR2 and brought it to several races, doing rather well considering the frightful lack of visibility in front. The team would later cut port holes into it in an attempt to improve that, but that failed. They would eventually de-hull it and go with a Lamborarri theme, and now they have a credible chance of taking P1.
Pit Crew Revenge's fantastic LeMons Limo has made several appearances at the Buttonwillonw races, one of the few tracks where it can get around without grounding itself on the crest of a hill. Here is it running a true 24 hour race. The iceberg car and tug boat car are also out on track somewhere, lost in the dark. Über Gallery Photo
Look at all those pretty million dollar cars. Can you tell which is an actual race car? Care to guess how much it cost? Here's a hint.

Event Steward: "Sir, could you please park your car somewhere else?"

Owner of the Scuderia Limoni LeMons race car: "No."

Photo by Brian Shorey

The legendary Speedycop's Upside Down Camaro (UDC). To others on track it can be an initially disturbing sight, coming around a turn and seeing a car upside down and crushed to the doors. It's about as bad as his camper trailer car and another team's backwards truck (truck body on backwards), which looks like it is driving towards you. Über Gallery Photo
A classic Ford in a classic pose, the Fairlylame 500! (Fairlane $500?) It's a beautiful old car with much of its original interior still in the car, and yea, the patina is authentic. Über Gallery Photo
Things blow up at LeMons races, and here Dee Baldwin caught this Alfa in the act, and doing it in a spectacular fashion. Note the little black dots flying through the air to the right of the car. Those are pieces of the connecting rods. Photo by Dee Baldwin
This one is not in the book, but I had to include it here. It is Sparky Pete's Killer Zombee (formerly Killer Bee MGB until it spun, rolled, and cart-wheeled in an event dubbed "The Flight of the Killer Bee") disguised (hiding its many blemishes) as a car from the TV show Futurama. It's amazing what some old election campaign signs, painter's tape, and the lack of sound judgement can do for a car. Über Gallery Photo
It took over 381 beer cans to skin this car. Enough said. Photo by Brooke Hovey
Morrow Racing's Snoopy Van! It had an awful time with motor problems during its first race, in the mud and rain, but managed to get back on track and finish. In later races it would be accompanied by Charlie Brown and Linus-themed cars. Über Gallery Photo
My favorite, the Faster Farms Plymouth Belvedere. The team drives this car to and from its races, including its first race where it rolled, and a later race where it got a little more than rough with a tire wall. The car is famous for its bowling ball-actuated wing (not shown in this photo) and the team showing up in chicken suits, chomping on big fat cigars, and not exactly looking like healthy, nutritious, Foster Farm chickens. Photo by Todd Lappin
The pink Cadillac is impressive enough, but the costumes and acting take it over the top. Many LeMons teams do the whole show, Duck Die Nasty in their get ups, Eyesore racing all in Start Trek uniforms, complete with tribbles, the B-Team doing the whole Kill Bill thing, the Cannon Bandits dressed as hot dogs in buns. Where Halloween meets gasoline, indeed. Über Gallery Photo
The Cannonball Bandits have brought some of the best themed cars to the west coast LeMons races. There was the NASCAR Mayer Wienermobile, the Tiger Woods car, and the Space Shuttle tribute you see here. More recently they've been sporting Rock Star energy drink colors and have actually been trying to win a race. Hopefully once they do that the masterpiece theming will return. Über Gallery Photo
Let's see, how can you get a Miata through BS inspections without being given hundreds of penalty laps? Hey, stuff it into a Volvo wagon and voilà, Molvo! Photo by Bernal Dads Racing
Jeeps are not road raceable. Or are they? Ask Matt Adair of PettyCash racing. Ask him about his class wins, IOE, and other distinctions. This Jeep Cherokee holds its own, and then some, in LeMons races. Über Gallery Photo
Finally, the awe inspiring Model T GT, built from the ground up out of scraps of a Model T, a Model A, a Mustang II, and parts pulled from their previous LeMons car, the V8olvo. It's fast, sounds great, and is registered, insured, and street-driven. Über Gallery Photo